User blog:Hushuzu/Undeveloped
Undeveloped Made By: April M. R. Chapter One Once upon a time, their lived a young girl with a quite large imagination. She wasn't very socaialable. She was very shy, and she at the time had some breathing issues. Her life consisted of one friend and a machine. Every afternoon the young girl had to sit in the corner of the day care and put a mask around her face and breath as usual to help her breathing. She would be confined to this spot for around ten mintues. She would watch as the older and a few kids her age play around and smile and laugh. Her friend walked up to her with a smile and sat besides her side on the ground. She didn't feel alone anymore. One day, a group of girls appeared and started to tease and taunt the young girl for having this one friend. As for this friend was a guy. As days went on she reported the constant harrassment and bullying but the teachers simply told her to ignore it. Until that one fateful day, she snapped. From now on she no longer held back the words and thoughts and screamed at the three teenaged girls, much older than her at the time, and she would be dubbed the bully when she was defend herself and her friend. The teachers would lock her up in the bathrooms for hours. She wouldn't sleep durring nap out just out of fear. She now sat alone in her corner connected to her machine. She was once again alone. Chapter Two Days went on and she was now in elementry school. She never liked leaving the car, yet her mother use to tell her to throw her demons into the glovebox and she would be alright. She got out of the car and went into the crowd, silently and insecure. Once the doors opened she hurried off to her classroom where she sat outside the dooe with the others reading a book or trying to start conversations with her class mates. Once the bell rang she went into her classroom and throughout kindergarden she okay. Nothing bad ever really happened, the only bad thing had to be when she picked up a stack of papers and all off them slid out of her hands leaving large paper-cuts in her hands. Then First Grade arrived. This teacher did not like her. The teacher locked her in the classroom alone telling all the other childern that she was a monster or freak. All because she spoke her feelings and told her teacher, when asked to say how she felt, she wanted to stabbed her. After a long year or harrassment in First Grade, she passed and went to Second Grade. This year she was pretty good, a few reports to the office for tantrums or arguements with students. Her teacher was nice and sweet, as if she was another mother. She found much comfort with this teacher and it was hard for her to leave and move to Third Gade. This year she was a back-talker and she would have to write five hundred sentences explaining how she won't back-talk again. Near the end of that year, she was accused for stealing a twenty-dollar bill from the teachers desk, and no. She didn't. Fourth and Fith were fine. Nothing bad happened in those years and she had a normal life. Chapter Three Summer went by and now she was among Middle School, a completely new school and new students. The first graduating class! Her six grade was alright, she was just starting to go through the motions. She began to feel left out and unwanted. With that, her passion for writing actually began. She had just started reading the Warrior Cat serie and started making her own Warrior Cat OC's and stories. She managed to by pass sixth before seventh came around. She began to slack and her algebra teacher hated her. She wouldn't assist her in any way and just sent her to the office with any excuse possible. This is where. She met. Ban and Joseph. She spoke to Joseph and they saw each other as siblings, Joseph mangaed to her get and Ban together as a couple! The relationship ended due to her gaining more and more anxiety and depression caused by her home-life and algebra teacher. Joseph had quickly stepped in and took control of her. Telling her to stop talking with Ban and isolated her from everyone. Making her believe he was all she needed. With that, they talked over summer and they all went to eigth grade together. This grade was when she was at the edge of complete depression and axiety. She would break the rules of not talking to Ban and Joseph would find out, she would get yelled at and nails dug into her arms and called names. She beagan to slip away from all her friends. They never helped her anyway. She was nothing but drama to them. She was just a waste of time. Chapter Four High School arrived. This is when everything fell apart. She dropped into a major depression and anxiety overwhelmed her. She was now getting yelled at and made fun of by everyone. She got nails dug in her arms and hair pulled. She was just trying to get through it. But, the truth was she was struggling. Once she finally got away from it all. She was alone. She sat alone. She ate alone. She walked alone. She was just another space taken up on this Earth. She was abused in all ways and she is so tramatized and having a constantly feeling of she is nothing, but a weak, hated and useless person on this Earth. She cries and screams, hits and trembles now when she is upset because she can no longer control what goes on inside her mind. Her head. Her emotions. She now avoids everyone and hides behind a pole in the mornings waiting for that single friend who is rarely there. She falls asleep scared. Wakes up crying. Having less and less modivation of living on this Earth anymore, because whats the point if she just wakes up and does the same things everyday. Life isn't worth living if there is nothing to live for. At least, thats how she's feeling right now. She may think about killing herself but she doesn't have the guts to pull through and do it. Because she knows deep inside. Someone out there. Will miss her. That one person. Is what keeps her here today. Chapter Five At home, most people believe is where most love and comfort lingers and where everyone can feel safe. She is safe but she listens to the swear words and the collision of fist to the wall or the tossing of furniture, she sits in the her room and lingers in the darkness. She has adapted and blares music to just seep her deeper into the void she feels like drags her down, as if she was tied down and being dragged to the bottom of the ocean. To feel every muscle in her body tighten until they finally give away and the water seeps into her lungs and finishes her. The thing that no one understands it's not her living situation that isn't safe it's her own state of mind. They can feed her pills and make her talk to others but that doesn't mean anything- because once the clock hits midnight and she is magically awake still. Her mind is completely blank and her actions are a thoughtless as a way try and make the pain stop. She begs for every inch of pain to stop. Then she made a promise and she struggles to find ways to make the pain stop without hurting herself. She rejoined swim for conditioning so she could go over board on the workouts and completely ware herself out. Even if it hurts. She wants everything mental to be destroyed. Chapter Six life Category:Blog posts